| Best Story Ever. |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|04:43 pm] |
So, the endoscopy was probably the most frightening situation I've ever been put into.
I walked in, and it smelt like old people, because guess what? It was full of them!
I was the second youngest person to ever walk through those doors.
They pulled me back into what I can only imagine was the prep room, and it was basically an assembly line of old men getting colonics. Even though I was really nervous, I kept repeating inside my head "At least I don't have to get a tube up my ass."
Then the nurse came in, and we spoke, she asked me if I had a living will, I said no. I told her about what Dr.Dwyer said to me about the CPR thing, and she said that he was totally full of shit, that they only administer CPR to someone who has no pulse. That was reassuring.
Then came the waiting. After she put the IV in my arm, I just kind of laid there, waiting for the anesthesiologist, however you spell that, to make a pit stop over in my little cloth cubicle. I must have counted all the ceiling tiles (12 in my cube), all the little wire things holding my curtain (31), and I listened to all the nurses talking to the old men about their gas problems and when was the last time they (in my own terms) took a massive shit.
I started to gradually freak myself out, thinking about all the horrible things that could happen to me. I was shaking uncontrollably, and started tearing up because, obviously, getting an endoscopy equals certain death in my mind. I mean, why had she asked about the living will unless something was going to go horribly wrong?
The nurses noticed, and one asked me if I wanted a blanket, while the other asked me what my favorite dream movie actor was, she liked Brad Pitt, I told her I thought Jake Gyllenhall was cute. It was awkward. Then I slowly regained my sanity, and tried to meditate, but of course, I really just wanted my mom.
Finally, thank God, the anesthesiologist came, and mellowed me out, and as I was being wheeled off to the operating room, I could hear the radio faintly playing my most favorite of songs "Margaritaville." Which, at the time I found to be incredibly amausing, because, only in Florida could some die to "Margaritaville."
The End.
Oh, and I didn't die. But I do sound like I've been chainsmoking for 50 years.
Also, I'm disappointed I don't have a tapeworm. I had a name picked out and everything.
Dennis and I would have made the best of friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2006|05:25 pm] |
Enclosed are a lot pictures from the New Years party at my house. It was fun.
( Fun! )
Happy 2006 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|08:35 pm] |
Please let me get into Eckerd so I can leave Naples and never come back.
I should have graduated in the winter, but no. I didn't because I wanted to have a senior year, one complete with prom, and a whole year of being with my friends. Blah Blah Blah. Now this year so far is just a big pile of shit, and I'm bored, and hate it because I spend every weekend doing nothing, and thinking about how much I want to be somewhere else.
I feel like I have absolutely no one that I can relate to here.
I also want to quit my job.
Woe is me.
The End.
Dr Lex Asia: I wish murder wasn't illegal
endless ali mae: baha you'd kill everyone |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 30th, 2005|06:38 am] |
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Thanks, Courtney |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|09:10 pm] |
It's about that time of year again. Should I cut my hair short, or keep it long?
Now, I like my hair long, but there's always this unexplainable force that tells me I should cut my hair short. Not like, crew cut or anything. I don't know, this causes me to think, if I cut my hair short, what should I do? I'm thinking maybe a haircut like Carrie Brownstein's, because I've always really like how she had her hair cut, who knows. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
Sarah, Monica, and I, came to the conclusion today that I probably have ADD.
The End. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|07:59 pm] |
I'm buying a drum machine this weekend. I finally have the money, and now it's burning a hole in my pocket.
One woman band, here I come. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|11:50 pm] |
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Just because they're over 21, doesn't make it ok that they drink all the time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2005|10:59 am] |
I've lived in the new house for about 3 months now, and last night I finally slept without the Virgin Mary nightlite.
I tried sleeping without it once, and I had horrible nightmares. I thought that if I slept without it, I'd keep having them, so I just left it on.
My room is creepy in complete darkness. Especially because the James Dean cardboard cutout is right be the door, so if I look over, I just see this ominous black figure, and the whites of his eyes.
But I'm not giving him up, so don't even ask(Monica)! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|06:00 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | And they say humans aren't animals... | ] |
+
=
Today I went to go get gas, and it was pure chaos. I've never seen so many grown people freak out. The line was pretty much 4 cars to each pump. These Hispanic guys tried to cut in on a pump, and all the people were like "GET THE FUCK BACK IN LINE!" it was insane. Then this woman started screaming at this guy in an SUV "NO, STOP PUMPING GAS, YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE IT ALL AND YOU WON'T LEAVE ANY FOR ANYONE ELSE!!!" which was actually pathetic and funny at the same time. I almost died at the pump because the gas hose wouldn't reach my tank, and this woman was giving me dirty looks, so I went to get into my car, I started it up, and realized that I hadn't put the cap on. Then when I shut it off, put the cap back on, and kept moving she was giving me a WTF look. No wonder there's going to be a gas shortage, if everyone is going to fucking fill up at the same time. Let's all jump at the same time too, and then move the Earth's axis. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|09:38 pm] |
I finally got around to downloading the application for MTV's Made.
Made: I want to be a breakdancer.
Dr Lex Asia: I want to get picked because I'd be able to learn how to breakdance, but I don't want to be picked, because I don't want to be "that girl from Made" [for my entire life]
CAMEBYTOkillYOU: but it'd be fuckin sweet
Dr Lex Asia: like, I'm sure that little hardcore girl in West Palm was living a normal little hardcore life, and now she's forever branded as "That dumb bitch from Made"
Dr Lex Asia: I don't want to be the breakdancing community's little hardcore girl
Dr Lex Asia: you know?
CAMEBYTOkillYOU: she is a dumb bitch though
CAMEBYTOkillYOU: hahahaha
Dr Lex Asia: You are not helping Sarah Burt! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|05:32 pm] |
In my quest for shoes, I found the little tarts like the ones I ate in France. It was a good moment. I practically lived off of those and apple beignets when I went. Oh yeah, and flavored vodka.
There was apple, and there was peach. They were each 10 euros, which was great because you got this big bottle for such a cheap price. The smell was the best. It was kind of this cover though, because the smell was a minty apple or peach. It smelled almost, clean I want to say. But then you took a drink and it was the most potent burning sensation you would ever feel in your life. Weird how something so sweet and clean can be so bitter and vile at the same time. I miss it. God, I wish I knew what that was called. I swear it had a Madame in the title, and the bottle was frosted, and almost in a rounded square kind of shape. I wish I was 21 so I could go into a liquor store and find out.
Also: I have to go and get my hat from Anne Ellyse's house eventually, but she's up in Gainesville, and I always feel weird going back there when she isn't there. I don't want her parents to think I'm a theif. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 31st, 2005|06:44 am] |
I can't wait for winter to arrive for the following reasons:
+ Using the heater in my car
+ Wearing lots of sweaters
+ Listening to all things Elliott Smith (I can only listen to him in the winter)
+ The possibility of seeing snow
+ The possibility of seeing my breath
+ Wearing my tobogone
+ Comfortably sitting in the courtyard
+ Hot drinks
And so much more. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|12:15 pm] |
People tell me I'm really mean all the time.I think that that negativity is affecting my relationships with my friends. I don't really hang out with anyone anymore, and I haven't really gotten a phone call in weeks. Not that I really mind all that much. I mainly just sit here in this chair, and read, or go onto Amazon and buy a bunch of used philosophy books that I'll never get around to even opening.
I wish I had some pie.
And a pony. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 27th, 2005|10:29 am] |
One day I'm going to grow up and solve all the mysteries of life.
"Sup? There really isn't a God, Ayn Rand was right, it's just your conscience"
"Yeah guys! Stonehenge is made of foam!"
"Monica! I found out Laguna Beach really IS real!" |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2005|10:15 pm] |
This evening, my parents and I started up a band. We're called the Trio of Three, and it stars my mom on mandolin and vocals, Jim on guitar and vocals, and me on guitar, viola, and spoken word. We're actually really good. My mom and Jim sing the chorus together, and they harmonize, and then I'll do the verses with spoken word.
Now all we need is a manager and a myspace, and we'll be set for life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|05:42 pm] |
Dr Lex Asia: I'm dying, no one has updated their livejournal since 2 days ago
Dr Lex Asia: it's KILLING me
strudelliz: oh dude i know
Dr Lex Asia: I need the scoop, the dish, the dirt
strudelliz: i always go on there
strudelliz: its very addictive
Dr Lex Asia: WHERE'S THE GOSSIP?!!
Dr Lex Asia: WHERE'S THE DRAMA?!?!
strudelliz: WHERES THE MONKEYS |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|06:25 pm] |
I just don't want to be the wet blanket!
P.S. The search continues to find my American History teacher on Myspace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2005|05:41 pm] |
Today was the most eventfull day at work. First, I'm opening this box of Birds of Paradise from Guatemala, and I pull out this FUCKING HUGE pocketknife. It wasn't even closed, the blade was sticking out and stuff, and it was in this like, rattleskin texture. It was crazy. And probably illegal in the U.S.
Then, this Mexican guy comes in, and orders flowers for hish girlfriend. As he's ordering, I point out that he has awesome shoes, and he says in this thick accent "Well, I'll come by tomorrow, and bring you a pair. Sounds good, eh? What size do you wear?" Then after I ring him up, I give him his change, and he gives me a 10 dollar tip. WTF. So I say thanks, he tells me he'll be back tomorrow with the shoes...and I'm left kind of feeling like I've been talking to a Mexican Kramer, who wants to get into my pants. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|08:22 pm] |
Monica and I went to the Waterside shops today, and I was literally accosted by GAP employees in order to find the jeans that were my "perfect fit". I can't even explain what happened. I was minding my own business, when this lady whose eyes were crossed came up and asked if I needed anything. I said no, but it was too late. I was standing by the jeans, therefore, I was prey. Before I knew it, my arms were loaded up with jeans. She pushed me back to the dressing room where I tried them on. When I came back out, there was ANOTHER GAP employee, with even more jeans, telling me to try them on. They both decided that my figure was perfect for the "Curve" style. I'm not joking, Monica can be my witness, I tried on EVERY jean that was in the store. And when I didn't like the jeans, this Spanish woman would just say "Oh, it's okay, I know another pair of jeans, they're perfect for you. You WILL find a pair of jeans you like. Hold on." and then she would come back with 5 or 6 more pairs for me to try on. It was insane. At the end of my experience, I walked out of the store with only 2 of those free iTunes things, and a pair of jeans.
Those sly bitches. |
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